Friday, September 3, 2010

Our Greatest Need

Oh man, Isn't God amazing? ;)
Just when you think you've got it right, he steps in to show you the right - and in doing so he brings you closer to Him. I love your love oh God.

Sometimes I wake up from a nap, or just plain sleeping and I feel like I have a brand new start at life. I feel like all the little things that have been bothering me throughout the week, the silly things, the big things, that all of them simply don't matter anymore. It's like I see things with peace, and it feels great and I tell myself that maybe life isn't so hard, and I wonder why I've made it that way all along.

But suddenly, I feel a certain vulnerability in the midst of all such happiness. I feel like it's too good to be true, like life couldn't possibly be so easy as to be able to forget about everything that ever bothered me in a moment. It isn't, and the truth is it shouldn't be - at least not until He returns for us.
I started analyzing what I felt inside, and I saw my vulnerabilities and in that moment  I prayed and cried to God. I told Him how I felt that although I was sure He listened to me, sometimes it felt like he was nowhere to be found. I've always found it curious how he feels so close - and most close - throughout my troubles. Though, I know in my heart that it is not because I am making it up. There is so much within me that truly believes in Him. The mere longing for love, that deep, never full well within all of us is witness to that.
I have tried to look for love, sometimes without God - not even realizing that I had left him. And as I look back upon those times of my life when I tried to look for love, I realized that those were the moments in which I was most miserable, because my sights were not set on God. Ironically enough, I know now that it was Him I was looking for all my life.
I will continue to proclaim this, because I know He is all I need, and that He is all anyone else needs.

"Eve wanted more, and would continue to search for more until she returned to God."

Monday, August 2, 2010

I told God, I told YOU:
"I am afraid, for inside of me I feel things I don't understand, and sometimes I feel like I can't bear it any longer."
You told me:
"Do not fear, for you WILL NOT be ashamed; Nor be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame."1
Me:
"What about all my mistakes that I feel won't go away?"
You:
"..you Will forget the shame of your youth, and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood Anymore."1
Me:
"Is there anyone that could accept me just as I am? Even after knowing me fully?"
You:
I, your Maker, am your Husband. The Lord of Hosts is My name. I am your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; the God of the whole earth.2
Me:
"How is it that you are so consistent - so unfailing in your love for me?"
You:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways.3 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are my ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."4
Me:
Surely "Great peace have those who love your law and Nothing causes them to stumble."5

1 Isaiah 54:4
2 Isaiah 54:5
3 Isaiah 55:8
4 Isaiah 55:9
5 Psalms 119:165