You know it's funny I never used to like jazz.
In the past I used to find the genre annoying - no direction, all over the place, or just boring.
These days I find jazz to be very meaningful.
Jazz is like a language that gets me. I think that jazz is as the sound of solitude - being alone, but being okay with it (or at least learning to). Jazz says, "Others come and go, but you can find me in the corner booth every day at 4pm." I don't necessarily meet up with jazz religiously, but jazz doesn't care, because jazz is jazz.
The other day as we met up, I told jazz I was planning on quitting my career path, leaving it all to be a traveling vagabond. Sometimes words come out of my mouth not necessarily because I want an answer, but because being heard is a comfort.
Jazz says everything's replaceable in the modern world except the passion for performing. "Passion is the fuel inside a person that no one can remove except self," says jazz. Jazz then went into the probability, according to some recent coffeehouse conversation, of succeeding in a career without intrinsic rewards. Sounds like jazz. Jazz has a tendency to get carried away by the emotions.
Another funny thing is that jazz and I have actually been friends since I was young. You know you can be friends with someone and not necessarily like what they do. I wasn't the first to judge jazz though. People these days are always trying to dictate the character of others by calling them names. Have you ever heard someone call jazz, "Blue"? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, yeah we all have our low days, but to basically engrave such a name on jazz's headstone...
Jazz always has had an independent mind. Although formidable, jazz doesn't quite like being changed by the opinions of others. I guess that comes with the package. An independent mind is not always healthy, as it tended to happen with jazz. We would go to different events together, and the next thing I know the friend I came with is no longer by my side. Instead I find that jazz is dancing the night away across the room, lawn, wherever we happened to be. Jazz always has a heart-song that has to be expressed. Well it just happened to be that one time when jazz was dancing off into bliss, that a person comes up to me and asks why jazz doesn't let out energy before coming. I mean this wasn't even a music-playing event. So you must imagine that the loudest figure in the room was indeed jazz. Curious, sometimes jazz is loud without even making a sound - in those cases the situation is more black and white. Anyhow, jazz overheard the person speaking to me and decided to dance out of the room. I didn't realize that when jazz left the room jazz had left the event for the night.
I don't know if I would say that jazz is sensitive. To be honest, jazz has always taken things a bit personally. It's crazy because jazz is always so upbeat and open to almost anything. I guess I didn't consider that those who are continuously happy also have a deepness in their soul.
The next day when we met up as usual, jazz told me that there would be no more parties to attend. Too many criticisms, the only outings jazz would be attending would be based on invitation as a guest of honor. I told jazz that this was completely out of character. "Jazz," I said, "not everything has to be about you. You're always going to encounter criticism. You just have to choose whether other's opinions are going to define you." "Please don't get all philosophical with me. People aren't happy until they get what they want. It's simple as that. So I just won't show up next time, unless I am asked to host the event," jazz said. I then angrily replied, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Jazz looked at me with a mixture of disbelief and confusion, and then he burst out laughing!
"Yeah, I guess you're right...," jazz said, and that was the end of that.
I think one of the main reasons jazz and I have come to be quite close is that we both like to be heard, not necessarily receiving solutions or answers. Also, jazz and I are both willing to reciprocate a listening ear. I won't lie, there have been some 'spotlight' moments that almost put us back to where we were at the beginning. Although jazz can't deny the center of attention, at the end of the day it's close ties that keep us grounded.
