You are the shelter from the rain, and the rain to wash me away.

~ Jars of Clay

Sometimes it takes an all-nighter, a deep-end procrastination moment to reveal some profound truth that otherwise would have remained uncovered until some normal point of desperation.

Sometimes the most precious moments are not tangible and not all gifts come in wrapping.

The blind won't see by opening their eyes.

-  Ghostship

Because of this, it is not tiresome to us, for even if our external person is being destroyed, on the other hand, that which is from within is renewed day by day.

- Paul, inspired

 “I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
—Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

"Do you ever get this feeling where you just want to pull the skin from your face off?"
Silence for half a minute, then he replied,
"No, I actually love myself, thank you very much."
"I just --"
"And why would you ask that anyhow?"
She gave him the look of 'will you let me talk now?',
"You know, sometimes everything in life just seems so well fit together in the sense that everybody's fine. You seem to see clearly that everyone has their own niche and paths, and you don't really know how long that will be the case but you know that's how it is for the present. Everybody's fine but you. And you just keep it to yourself. Why? Because to be you is to change the current of someone else's destiny. You see how things are, and people seem to be happy, just fine. You don't need to go out there going about Feelings in a place where Feelings already knows himself."
"Well, um.."
"I mean, it's more like a waiting period."
"And you feel like pulling your face off because of it?"
"Yes."

~ The Creation of Mr. Lingers

Nenets Camp, Russia - National Geographic Travel Daily Photo

Nenets Camp, Russia - National Geographic Travel Daily Photo

I'm tired of the niceties and the proprieties; sometimes I just want to shout out that I am me and you are you. Then we will move on from this place of idleness and ambiguities, to the land of black and white and grey.
~ RH

"When you like jazz it means you've grown up." - Patricia Hernandez

"A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect." - W.E.B. Dubois

"Respect was meant to cover the empty place where love should be." ~ Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

"There are no coincidences in life, just miracles disguised as surprises."

- MFTF

"The difference between a scientist and an artist is that the scientist uses the ponderings of life for answers, while the artist uses the ponderings of life for admiration."

-MFTF

"The thing about memory is that it is subjective. My memory of you will always be different than yours of me - not because you are younger, older, or of a different gender, but simply because you are you."

- MFTF

Prunus Mexicana

This, my friends, is a lovely Mexican Plum tree in it's early stages. Some months ago, some family and I participated in a walk-athon where they were giving away free trees! Yes, trees! We brought home three, this is the one I chose. It turns white early in the spring, so I am very excited to see the growth of this tree! 

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God's household, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit.
~ Ephesians 2: 19-22 ~

You may not always see the results of your efforts, but just know that someone out there is praying for you. Pray for the world.

The key to life is to become someone more than it is to meet someone.

~ Louie Giglio

Some of the bestest friends we will have are yet to be met - and those will stand the test of time!

- Sarah Huerta

I am a person of great worth and potential - but I am a work in progress.

- Louie Giglio

Everything is something holding together.

Cowboys of Patagonia Image, Chile

Cowboys of Patagonia Image, Chile

Sometimes people don't know how to say I love you,
sometimes people don't know just how to express it.

It can seem like the only way to understand this is to not try to understand it, but in letting it be - find peace.

Sometimes people can be quiet and not very present,
sometimes they just don't know how much you need them.

Sometimes you want them to say "I love you",
chances are they've been waiting a long time to hear you say the same.

Sometimes people cannot be affectionate for the best of them,
all they can do is smile - and sometimes not even that.

One time, two times, several times there will be an opportunity to say the right thing at the right time or be at the right place at the right time. Sometimes opportunity is missed at best.

Sometimes people are hurting, and they don't know how to reach inside the hurt of others.
Sometimes people are bitter, and they don't know that they can be set free by that which they ignore.

Sometimes people genuinely do not know.

 Sometimes when we self-in-validate, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to prove to others and ourselves that our experience is real and makes sense. This often results in conflict or crisis. ~ 7CT

“Ireohke chapji mothajiman
I need you amu maldo mothae I want you
Paraedo dasi paraedo”

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation."
~ Plato

"Because of God being the One who brought the news, Noah moved with fear for God - meaning deep respect. He acted upon information that in the context of all he knew did not exist and made no sense."
~ Randy Skeete

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."
~ François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge. "
-- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

But Don't Forget Respect, Ladies :)

True. I also believe that if a 'friend' believes everything that's said about you without actually talking to you about it they are not really friends at all.

Louie Giglio Mashup of Stars and Whales Singing God's Praise

"It's not what we do know that hurts us so much, it's what we know for sure that just ain't so."

- Will Rogers

"To be hypocrite is human"

My professor in college English would say how Adventists have these sayings and habits that are overused - kind of like potluck or haystacks. I think what my professor was trying to imply was that as Christians we shouldn't be so 'Adventist' we forget we are also human. As Christians there is always going to be the temptation to grow comfortable in a sort of mold that keeps us from branching out to others. 

This professor is the same person who told us that hypocrisy and humanness are parallel values. I remember being skeptical in class that all humans are hypocrites, but really we are. The truth is humans would have to be hypocrites to need a higher being to save them from themselves. Being a hypocrite is akin to dying daily. I once said in an earlier post that you can be friends with someone without liking what they do. So the friendship is constant, but habits change. Similarly, people who believe in God call themselves Christians, but that doesn't mean that they don't make mistakes day by day.

After considering this quote on the hypocrisy of humanness, I began to realize how truly profound it is because it signifies that humans need a higher being than themselves to not be a hypocrite. So this is to say that individuals who believe that there is no God, that we are our own, believe it is fine to be human, to be hypocrite. To not be a hypocrite, is to be more Godly. God made us in his image, but we tend to sway from it don't we? 

"Many people with depression assume it's the relationship that is causing the depression, and one of the things you need to understand if you have depression is you have relationship consequences. Everyone in depression will have relationship complications, but that doesn't mean the relationships are the cause." 

I hadn't watched Dr. Nedley's videos for awhile now, but I've always really liked the research he gathers for health issues. I read the diabetes section of his book, Proof Positive and was really impressed. Hopefully one day I will purchase it, but for now it's online videos. :)

To deal with minds is the nicest work in which men ever engaged.—Testimonies for the Church 3:269 (1873).

Temple Dawn

I've always liked National Geographic magazines, but mostly because of the pictures. I subscribed to NG for one year because there was a sale and literally only looked at the pictures. I remember while growing up what I wanted to be evolved a lot, but even now I think I would still hold a great appreciation for being a photo-journalist. I don't think it is so much what I'm cut out to do anymore, but nonetheless pictures as such below make me nostalgic.

National Geographic

Shakespearean. Soliloquy. Slang. Scripture.

Ain't nobody got time for the proud man's contumely

When there is hope for the undiscover'd country

All our yesterdays have gathered fools 
the way for dusty death

But I'm not gonna live on wasted breath.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I have seen nothing more conducive to righteousness than solitude. He who is alone sees nothing but God, and if he sees nothing but God, nothing moves him but the will of God.

 ~ Dhu-l-Nun ~

It's Time

"It's time."

    "It's time?'

It's time. This time.

 Chimes. Mimes. Dimes. 

Clanking. Prancing. Tossing.

Silver. White. Silver.

Tradition. Volition. Donation.

It's time. This time.

A kick of dust under the hot sun.

A hummingbird zooming through bushes in front of a school.

A child running through a dim hall.

A teacher settling notebook papers on her desk.

A mother taking a secretarial call.

A man removing bills from envelopes.

A Father moving through the earth.

It's time. This time.

Forgotten ink.

No time to think.

All wonder if the journey's bleak.

Storms or whispers? How do You speak?

Reached the peak; 

My mind is silent, but the blisters creak.

Mortal powder on my head, 

awaiting laws to show me to my bed.

If it pleases you, can we meet and you'll be fed.

I have a friend named Tumult, whose infliction I have dreaded.

If it pleases the Queen, it pleases me.

Forgotten ink.

No time to think.

Take the daily.

Make it hasty.

React but not reflect.

Look back and you'll defect.

Na.

O.

Breath.

Yah

weh

Devotional

As of late, I've been reading this book called "Lessons From the Life of Nehemiah" and it is a deep study. This is just what I've been looking for. I was speaking with my cousin the other day that I have been looking for a Bible study that is deep but easy to understand. This Bible study is just right and the commentary really helps. Not sure, but thinking this might be a great addition to our small group study ^_^

A Curious Friendship

You know it's funny I never used to like jazz.
In the past I used to find the genre annoying - no direction, all over the place, or just boring.

These days I find jazz to be very meaningful.
Jazz is like a language that gets me. I think that jazz is as the sound of solitude - being alone, but being okay with it (or at least learning to). Jazz says, "Others come and go, but you can find me in the corner booth every day at 4pm." I don't necessarily meet up with jazz religiously, but jazz doesn't care, because jazz is jazz.

The other day as we met up, I told jazz I was planning on quitting my career path, leaving it all to be a traveling vagabond. Sometimes words come out of my mouth not necessarily because I want an answer, but because being heard is a comfort.

Jazz says everything's replaceable in the modern world except the passion for performing. "Passion is the fuel inside a person that no one can remove except self," says jazz. Jazz then went into the probability, according to some recent coffeehouse conversation, of succeeding in a career without intrinsic rewards. Sounds like jazz. Jazz has a tendency to get carried away by the emotions.

Another funny thing is that jazz and I have actually been friends since I was young. You know you can be friends with someone and not necessarily like what they do. I wasn't the first to judge jazz though. People these days are always trying to dictate the character of others by calling them names. Have you ever heard someone call jazz, "Blue"? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, yeah we all have our low days, but to basically engrave such a name on jazz's headstone...

Jazz always has had an independent mind. Although formidable, jazz doesn't quite like being changed by the opinions of others. I guess that comes with the package. An independent mind is not always healthy, as it tended to happen with jazz. We would go to different events together, and the next thing I know the friend I came with is no longer by my side. Instead I find that jazz is dancing the night away across the room, lawn, wherever we happened to be. Jazz always has a heart-song that has to be expressed. Well it just happened to be that one time when jazz was dancing off into bliss, that a person comes up to me and asks why jazz doesn't let out energy before coming. I mean this wasn't even a music-playing event. So you must imagine that the loudest figure in the room was indeed jazz. Curious, sometimes jazz is loud without even making a sound - in those cases the situation is more black and white. Anyhow, jazz overheard the person speaking to me and decided to dance out of the room. I didn't realize that when jazz left the room jazz had left the event for the night.

I don't know if I would say that jazz is sensitive. To be honest, jazz has always taken things a bit personally. It's crazy because jazz is always so upbeat and open to almost anything. I guess I didn't consider that those who are continuously happy also have a deepness in their soul.

The next day when we met up as usual, jazz told me that there would be no more parties to attend. Too many criticisms, the only outings jazz would be attending would be based on invitation as a guest of honor. I told jazz that this was completely out of character. "Jazz," I said, "not everything has to be about you. You're always going to encounter criticism. You just have to choose whether other's opinions are going to define you." "Please don't get all philosophical with me. People aren't happy until they get what they want. It's simple as that. So I just won't show up next time, unless I am asked to host the event," jazz said. I then angrily replied, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"
Jazz looked at me with a mixture of disbelief and confusion, and then he burst out laughing!
"Yeah, I guess you're right...," jazz said, and that was the end of that.

I think one of the main reasons jazz and I have come to be quite close is that we both like to be heard, not necessarily receiving solutions or answers. Also, jazz and I are both willing to reciprocate a listening ear. I won't lie, there have been some 'spotlight' moments that almost put us back to where we were at the beginning. Although jazz can't deny the center of attention, at the end of the day it's close ties that keep us grounded.

Your Love is Strong

Cliche A la "Couch Potato"/The Rise of and Fall of A Generation- One Millennial At A Time

These days life is vibrant more in small moments and feelings than anything. I praise God I was finally able to begin an internship for my career. Most days are consumed by the cyberworld - pretty depressing, I know - networking, watching videos, researching career opportunities, etc. After undergrad studies I was burnt out like no other, so for the most part I don't feel to guilty about this. Yes, while the rest of the working world is out there doing their hardest I am quickly becoming the cliche a la "couch potato."

6 Reasons Why I don't feel guilty:

#1- Being at home more has given me greater opportunity to brainstorm for my homechurch small group. 

#2- I'm getting the mental rest I feel I needed since about 2 years ago.

#3- I'm re-learning to love my own family.

#4- On that note, I'm learning even more about myself - if college wasn't enough.

#5- In realizing all the help that's needed at home (not just on campus) a whole new world opens up to what needs to be done

#6- Here it goes (haters gonna hate), but everyday is basically a free day :) 

My Life Lesson

True Faith is love -
Loving others the way we were loved by God

We can only love someone else as much as we believe we are worthy of being loved.

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love.

~ Galatians 5:6 ~

Finding True Freedom

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery....The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

~ Galatians 5: 1, 6 (latter) ~

“Life Happens – Eventually”

A man walks to the bus stop for work. A car nearly misses him, zooming by. The next day, the man drives himself. He nearly misses a pedestrian. The day after last, the man – seeing no inconvenience – rides his bike.

A car nearly misses him, loses control, hitting a pedestrian.

Deliverance

Coffee

Bittersweet, skittish,

Pulsating, exciting, invigorating

Crash, trance; panacea, solace

Soothing, breathing, dreaming

Mellow, still

Sleep

 

Lost Poems, Wole Soyinka

Ah Wole Soyinka, I discovered his writings in my last semester of high school. I remember my English teacher clearly asking me if I didn't prefer another author for the focus of my senior project, but I think I was mostly awed by Soyinka's focus and creativity to convey a message. So here is one of his poems that I came to really appreciate:

“Lost Poems”

By Wole Soyinka

I think sometimes of poems I have lost –

Maybe their loss it was that saved the world – still

They do get lost, and I recall them only

When a fragment levitates behind

Discarded invoices, the black-rimmed notice

Of a last goodbye, a birth, a wedding invitation

And other milestones of a lesser kind.

The moment torments – why? Beyond

An instant’s passion, dubious flash –

Satori in a bar, taxi or restaurant, an airport

Waiting lounge – that births the scribble

On a stained napkin, what cast of the ephemeral

Once resonates, then spurns the mind

The morning after? All that survives

Mimics a wrinkled petal pressed

Between pages of long-discarded books.

A falling leaf trapped briefly by the passing sun

It flashes, a mere shard of memory

But filled with wistful accusations

Of abandonment. Too late,

 

No life to it. The book is closed

The moment’s exultation or despair

Drowned in wine rivers, shriveled

In suns of greater wars. I turn

These scrapbooks of a moment’s truth

To cinders, their curlings curse in smoke –

Once more fugitive beyond recall

Of usurper’s summons by

The morning after.

I think of voices I have lost, and touches.

The fleeting brush of eyes that burrows

Deep within the heart of need, the pledge

Unspoken, the more than acts of faith

That forge an instant world in silent pact

With strangers – deeper, deeper bonds

Than the dearest love’s embrace.